A Fateful Choice
by NikkiB1973
Summary: Instead of calling Rosalie for assistance, Bella calls Jake instead. With his ignorance about the true reason she has contacted him, will Bella Swan's selfishness push him away when she needs him the most? Set in Breaking Dawn AU.
1. Chapter 1

**A Fateful Choice **

Disclaimer: all characters and copyright belong to Stephanie Meyer.

Bella held her cell phone in her hand. She was shaking so much that she was having difficulty scrolling down the numbers. She looked to the side to see that Edward was still caught up with the airport official as he arranged last minute flights for their journey home. Bella knew she didn't have much time. She finally found the number she was seeking and pressed the call button. The ringing seemed to go on for an eternity, Bella kept looking nervously over at Edward to make sure he was still occupied. "Pick up, please...please." She whispered desperately.

Finally her call was answered. Bella felt tears of relief well in her eyes as the familiar voice mumbled a sleepy hello. "Jake, it's me." She said in as low voice.

"Bella? What the hell?" Now he sounded more awake.

"I need your help." She whispered frantically.

Jacob was quiet for a few seconds as if he was contemplating her cry for help. "Where are you?"

"Halfway home. I should be back in Washington State by the morning." Bella continued. "I need you to come meet me."

"What the fuck happened, Bella?" Jacob demanded. He was shouting so loud that his voice hurt her ears. "You have only been on your honeymoon for a few days."

"I can't explain now." Bella begged him. "Please help me? I need you."

Jacob sighed. "Tell me when and where." He finally caved in after hearing the desperation in her voice. However much she continued to hurt him he could never abandon her completely.

"I'll text you." Bella's eyes widened in fright as she saw Edward finish up with the airport official and head her way again. She ended the call and slipped her cell back into her pocket.

"You've been crying." Edward observed as he sat next to her. He gently wiped the tears from her face. "We'll be home soon, Bella. Then we can sort this mess out and continue on with our lives. Carlisle is ready and waiting."

"I thought he was supposed to save lives not end them." Bella hissed as her hand flew to her slightly swollen abdomen.

Edward winced. "I know you are upset, but in the long run you will see that this is all for the best."

"Go to hell." Bella cursed him, unable to hold back her anger. She shifted away from him and refused to communicate again.

* * *

><p>The flight seemed endless. Bella drank lots of fresh water but only nibbled at her meal. She was craving eggs; just like she had done when she initially fell pregnant. Her stomach roiled and she felt sick. Twice she had to wedge herself into the small toilet cubicle and and throw up. Edward kept looking at her worriedly and assuring her that it would all soon be over. Bella ignored him, keeping her hands clasped in her lap when he tried to take them in his own.<p>

"I love you, Bella." He said eventually. "I will not ever let anything endanger your life."

"Not even your own child?" Bella snapped at him.

Edward fell silent again and just stared at her with a pained expression. She turned away from him and closed her eyes as she pretended to sleep. It was only when the plane touched down that Bella opened her eyes again. The harsh cabin lights made her squint as all the other passengers began to gather up their belongings. Edward touched her arm gently, but Bella recoiled from him. She heard him sigh as she hugged her arms around her middle and followed the other passengers from the plane.

* * *

><p>The airport terminal was crowded. Bella glanced around frantically for any sign of Jacob's car. She had sent him a text giving him the time of the flight's arrival. She had sent it before she boarded the plane. Edward had been so preoccupied he had just assumed she was just messaging her dad. Bella couldn't see any sign of Jake at all. She began to worry.<p>

"I need the bathroom." She told Edward.

He nodded at her. "I'll wait outside for you."

"You will not." Bella replied coldly. "I'm hungry. Get me some fries or something."

Edward frowned as he looked at the long queue winding its way out of the small MacDonald's fast food joint. "We'll get you some proper food when we get home."

"No. I need food now." Bella insisted. "It helps with the sickness."

Edward's frown deepened but he did as she asked. "Be careful and meet me over there."

"Yes." Bella quickly agreed. She just wanted to get rid of him. She watched as he trailed over to join the queue and then headed in the direction of the female toilets. But before she reached them she circumnavigated a group of women and hid behind them as they made their way out of the airport. With their larger bodies she could hide behind them easily.

Once outside Bella breathed in the cold, crisp air. It was odd that she was so pleased to be back in Washington State after so long wanting to escape it. She cursed herself internally for the situation she now found herself in. If Jacob had decided against picking her up, she would have to try and hunt down a taxi. The seconds ticked by as she peered frantically about, scanning the area for Jacob's little red car. But there was no sign of him. As more time passed her hopes faded and she began to resign herself to the fact that she was on her own. As she moved away from her vantage spot a shiny black truck pulled up beside her. The passenger window was wound down and to her surprise she saw Jacob lean across and shove the door open.

Bella hurriedly climbed up into the passenger seat and slammed the door after her. Jacob did not bother to speak. He just nodded at her curtly and sped away from the airport.

* * *

><p>Jacob didn't say anything until they were at least five miles away from the airport. He slowed down to a much more safer speed and glanced across at Bella. She had snapped her seat belt around her body and was sitting rigidly. He noticed that her skin was extra pale. In fact she looked as if she wanted to be sick. His eyes flicked down to her hands which were curled into fists in her lap. The milky white of the skin along her wrists was heavily bruised and, when she fidgeted, the sleeve of her top rode up a little he saw more yellow, black bruising curling up her arm.<p>

"Fuck." He spat, hitting the steering wheel. "He beat you, didn't he?"

Bella was startled by the venom in his voice. She stared down at her hands and saw the fading bruises on her skin. She had forgotten all about them. With the discovery of her accelerated pregnancy she hadn't thought about anything else. "He didn't beat me." She told Jacob. "It was an accident."

"Wake up and smell the coffee, Bella. The guy is an animal." Jacob shook his head in disbelief. She was still defending the leech. He couldn't believe it. "I warned you this would happen. You are lucky you are still alive."

Bella's teeth ground into her bottom lip making it bleed. Should she tell him? No, not yet. He was angry and she needed him to concentrate on the road. She felt his dark eyes glaring at her and she shifted uncomfortably in her seat. "Thanks for coming to get me." She said quietly.

"As if I had a choice." Jacob muttered.

"You did. But you still came." Bella smiled at him weakly. "You are a good friend."

"Fuck your friend's speech, Bells. We were never friends." Jacob snapped. "Stop yanking my chain."

Bella fell silent. Easy tears welled in her eyes. She couldn't blame him. Every angry word he threw her way she knew she deserved. They remained silent for a while as Jacob kept his eyes on the road. An hour passed and they were now halfway back to Forks.

"Why call me, Bella?" Jacob eventually asked her. "Why not Charlie?"

Bella swallowed down the lump in her throat as she thought about her dad. "I needed a friend..." Jacob's expression darkened at the word_ friend. _Bella sighed before continuing. "I mean I needed someone I can trust, and there is no one I trust more than you."

"Way to dig the knife in Bells." Jacob shook his head at her as he gripped the steering wheel tighter in his hands.

"I'm sorry." Bella apologised again.

"Don't be sorry for wanting to stay human." Jacob's voice was softer now. "Just be glad you made the right call just in time."

The breath flew from Bella's body as she realised that he had misunderstood her. He thought she had left Edward because she had a change of heart. Her guilt and shame made the nausea well up in her stomach again. Was there no end to her selfishness? She should never have placed that call. Bella knew she was going to break Jacob Black for the third time when he found out the true reason. She saw him glance at her again. Some of the anger seemed to have left him.

"Hey, don't stress." Jacob actually smiled at her. "I didn't mean to kick off. It's been a hard few days. When I got your call I was stunned. I half decided not to come...but I knew I had to. I found it hard to believe you were actually going to leave him. The Rabbit is totalled." He shrugged when Bella's eyes opened wide in surprise. "When you left I took my anger out on the old girl." He continued. "This is Sam's truck. I had to borrow it. Luckily he let me."

"Oh Jake..." Bella couldn't say the word sorry again when in reality it was so meaningless. "I don't want to hurt you again."

"How can this be hurting me?" Jacob looked at her in confusion. "Yes, I was pissed, but this is a good thing. You know we should be celebrating. Bella Swan came to her senses and finally realised she wanted to live."

Bella sank lower in her seat as his words stabbed her in the heart. "Yes. She murmured faintly. "Now more than ever I need to live."

_**A/N-thanks for reading! **_


	2. Chapter 2

**A Fateful Choice**

Disclaimer: all characters and copyright belong to Stephanie Meyer.

_**A/N-thanks for the awesome reviews. Nikki **_

**Part Two**

Jacob pulled up outside of his house. He switched the engine off and glanced across at Bella. She was sitting pensively, her hands clasped together tightly in her lap. He waited for her to get out of the truck and when she didn't he frowned. "What is it? We're here."

"I know." Bella said quietly.

"This is what you wanted, right?" Jacob's voice was husky as he saw her hands twist nervously in her lap. "You're not regretting your decision to leave are you?" He felt bile pool in his stomach at the thought she might actually be having second thoughts, again.

"No I had to go." Bella murmured. She still hadn't moved and was now biting down on her lower lip.

"You mean you wanted to go." Jacob corrected her.

"Yes, of course." Bella shook herself a little and mustered up a small smile for his benefit. "Thank you very much for coming to my rescue, Jake."

"What's with all the formality?" Jacob's brow furrowed further. Bella was acting odd. He had guessed there was something she had not told him, and he had a feeling it had something to do with the bruises he had spied on her arm. If the bloodsucker put in an appearance any time soon, Jacob would have no trouble taking him out. He had been warned. As if thinking his name conjured up Edward, Bella's cell phone began to ring. The noise startled her and she stared at the vibrating phone as if she didn't know what it was.

"Is it him?" Jacob demanded.

Bella glanced at him and nodded. "Yes." She said softly.

"I'll speak to him." Jacob tried to snatch the phone from her but Bella turned away from him.

"No. I'll speak to him later." Bella switched off her cell and shoved it in the pocket of her jeans.

"Whatever." Jacob muttered, he was irritated that she had not let him answer the call. Didn't he deserve to wind Cullen up that his new wife had already tired of him after only a few days? He had a right to taunt his arch nemesis a little.

Bella finally climbed out of the truck and shut the passenger door. Her arms immediately slipped around her waist as the biting wind whipped around her. Her stomach rolled and she knew she was going to be sick. Her face paled and she turned away from Jacob, who was watching her curiously, and threw up. He was by her side instantly. One warm hand rubbed her lower back while the other pulled her hair away from her face.

"I'm sorry, Bells. I should have guessed that you were scared. I was thinking of myself and how I was feeling. It stands to reason you've been panicking in case the bloodsucker found out you were planning to leave. No wonder you were sick." Jacob's profound apology made Bella feel worse than she already did. She was being sick because of the pregnancy, not for the reason he had assumed.

"Please don't apologise." Bella whispered brokenly. "You should never say sorry to me. Not after what I've done." She straightened up and leaned on him a little.

"That doesn't matter now." Jacob slipped a comforting arm around her waist. "That's all in the past. This is a new start." He grinned at her suddenly, making him seem boyish. Bella's heart sank as tears rolled down her face. Was there no end to the guilt? She was so tired that she didn't have the energy to contradict him. She let him help her into the house and settle her on the old couch.

At the sound of their entry Billy rolled his chair into the living room. He had been in the kitchen preparing dinner. His face showed his surprise when he saw Bella Swan nee Cullen sitting on his couch. His eyes widened as he looked over at Jacob for an explanation. "She left him." He said simply.

"You left Cullen?" Billy echoed him, looking directly at Bella as he spoke.

"Yes. I'm sorry to involve you both again." Bella hung her head. Her stomach was heaving again, but she didn't want to be sick in front of Billy. The more experienced man would probably guess her secret straight away. She could already feel his intense gaze as he studied her carefully. She felt like a fish in a bowl with others peering at it as she swam round and round in a circle.

"Does Charlie know you are back?" Billy asked bluntly.

Bella flinched. Jacob glared at his father as he sat next to Bella and put his arm across her shoulders. "Back off, dad. You know he doesn't. Bells called me because she needed someone she trusted to help her get away. You know how Charlie can be, he would have been demanding a hundred answers by now. She just needs some peace and quiet to think."

"I am not keeping this from the Chief. I am done with keeping secrets from him. Take her straight home, Jake." Billy matched his son's glare defiantly.

Jacob stood back up, glowering. "No. I promised her."

"That wasn't your call to make, Jacob Black. This is my house." Billy snapped.

"You don't understand..."

"I do. Now take her home."

Jacob growled low in his chest as she leaned down and yanked Bella's sleeve up. He felt her cringe as Billy gasped at the sight of the bruises winding up her arm. "Now do you see?"

"He did this?" Billy's voice quavered as Bella yanked her sleeve back down and pulled her knees up to her chest.

"It's not how you think. Jake shouldn't have shown you that." Bella shot him a disappointed glance before rising to her feet. "I will go now."

Jacob was about to protest when Billy beat him to it. "Sit down, Bella." He said gently. "I've just made dinner. I am sure you are hungry. Jake come and help me serve it up."

Jacob relaxed as he gave Bella a relieved smile. "Be back in a minute." He promised her as he followed his dad into the kitchen.

Bella watched them go. Tears began to leak out of her eyes. She had just made her situation about ten times worse. Now Billy thought she had fled from Edward because he had been rough with her. The hole she kept digging herself was getting deeper and deeper. There was no way she could stay here now. She had been stupid to have called Jacob. It was just when she had panicked he was the first person that she thought of. He was her best friend and in the past had always been her saviour. But he couldn't help her this time. He didn't deserve what she was doing to him. Bella knew her options were limited. She couldn't go back to Edward, he was determined to end this pregnancy and there was no way she could physically stop him and Carlisle performing an abortion. She knew that they would go against her wishes. Edward always hid behind the excuse he knew what was best for her. But this was a life; a life they had unknowingly created together. Of course there were risks, but this baby was formed for a reason. Somehow she had to find a way to save him and herself. But where could she go? Charlie was out of the question. He would ask too many questions, just like Jacob had pointed out. That left her mother, Renee. It seemed her only choice now was to get to Jacksonville.

* * *

><p>The food tasted like ashes in Bella's mouth as she ate slowly. She could feel Jacob and Billy watching her discreetly. She was only eating to stop them asking any more questions. She was thankful when the meal was over. Billy cleared away the plates and left her and Jacob alone.<p>

"My dad has agreed that you can crash here for a while until you figure out what you want to do." Jacob told her. "You can have the twins old room. He hopes though that you'll consider telling Charlie."

Bella picked at the long sleeves of her shirt as she avoided his eyes. "I can't stay here, Jake. Thank you for the offer. You and Billy have been so kind. I really appreciate it. But I will be leaving in the morning."

"Leaving?" Jacob's fingers gripped the edges of the table. Bella heard the wood creak as his strong grip nearly split it.

"Yes, I am going to head back to stay with my mom." Bella heard him take a deep breath to calm himself.

"You can't." Jacob forced his fingers away from the table. "You need protecting. I can't protect you in Jacksonville. The bloodsucker can get to you there."

"It's too sunny." Bella mumbled.

"That didn't stop him gong with you there before." Jacob reminded her bitterly.

Bella had forgotten all about the trip that she and Edward had taken together so many months ago. It seemed like it had happened to a different person. But despite this she still couldn't stay here. "I'm sorry but my mind is made up, Jake."

"You can't run away. Is this because I showed dad your bruises? He needed to know and you need to face up to what the leech did. What you shared with him wasn't love, Bella. If he loved you he wouldn't have even attempted to...to..." He became red in the face as he tried to find the right words to express himself. "Consummate things. I warned you that this could happen. I warned him. I blame myself though. I shouldn't have let the pack pull me away. I should have handled things better, but..."

"STOP IT, JAKE. STOP TALKING. I CAN'T BEAR IT." Bella shrieked at him. The guilt was becoming too much as he began to blame himself.

Her loud words stunned him. He stared at her in shock as Billy came back into the room. "Is everything alright in here?" He asked cautiously.

Bella paled again as nausea welled up in her throat. Jacob noticed and he immediately knelt in front of her. "Are you going to be sick again?"

She nodded. Jacob put a supportive arm around her waist and led her to the bathroom. Billy watched them go. There was something nagging in the back of his mind. Bella looked like Sarah had when she was pregnant with the twins. She would pale like that before throwing up what she had just eaten. But no, Bella must have eaten something that disagreed with her, or perhaps it was the stress of leaving the cold one. She couldn't be pregnant. It was well known that the cold one's couldn't reproduce, thank god! He dismissed the pregnancy theory from his mind.

* * *

><p>Jacob stoked Bella's hair as she leaned against his legs. She felt so ill. It wasn't just her imagination but she was certain she had felt the baby moving around in her stomach. There had been a slight fluttering as if there was a tiny bird trapped underneath her skin. Edward had warned her that these sort of pregnancies advanced very quickly. That was why Carlisle had wanted them home promptly. Jacob's touch was soothing as he continued this ministrations.<p>

"See, Bells. You need me. Let me look after you." He said gently.

Bella closed her eyes as more tears spilled out from under the closed lids. If only...she thought sadly...if only...

_**A/N-thanks for reading! **_


	3. Chapter 3

**A Fateful Choice **

Disclaimer: all characters and copyright belong to Stephanie Meyer.

_**A/N-thank you for the awesome reviews. Nikki**_

**Part Three **

Bella never really slept, she needed to be awake and alert if she wanted to slip away from the Black's house undetected. Jacob was not at home. He had been summoned to take on an extra patrol shift in exchange for borrowing Sam's truck. Sam and Emily were having a date night. This gave Bella ample opportunity to escape. She waited until she was certain Billy was asleep, then she left the house as quietly as she could. She had called for a taxi to meet her on the main road so the car wouldn't be heard and wake Jacob's father. Bella felt huge guilt for leaving without even a goodbye, but she really didn't see any other choice. She refused to hurt Jake further by revealing she was pregnant. It was better this way. He would be livid that she had left again, but hopefully in time, these feelings would pass, and he would meet another girl who deserved his love and devotion.

The taxi driver looked at her curiously as she paid him upfront and asked to be taken to the airport. He shrugged when she refused to strike up a conversation and drove in silence the whole way there. The journey gave Bella too much time to think. She was worried that Edward would guess her plans. She hoped as she had been around Jacob that Alice could not see her, but that was a faint hope. She was alone now and vulnerable. Without Jake by her side, Alice would be able to see visions of her once again. But Bella held on to the fact that Edward would be too far away to stop her. She breathed a sigh of relief when the airport came into view. It was still fairly dark and she was able to slip out of the taxi and into the main terminal without being noticed. She now needed to purchase an emergency ticket to Jacksonville. She was glad that Edward had given her a credit card with a limitless amount on it. She had refused it at first, but was glad she had caved in on this one thing.

Bella approached one of the attendants behind the check in desk, before she could even speak, she felt a cold hand touch her shoulder. A shudder rippled through her entire body. It was too late. They had found her. Bella twisted her head round and her heart sank; behind her stood not only Edward, but Carlisle as well. She was doomed.

* * *

><p>Edward watched his wife sit in the summer house staring sightlessly into the middle distance. She had her arms wrapped around her middle as if she was in pain. But Carlisle had assured him that it wasn't physical trauma that Bella was feeling. The operation to remove the foetus had gone well. Carlisle knew what he was doing. No, it was the mental toll it had taken on Bella that was making her so fragile. Edward closed his eyes for a moment as he recalled the fight she had put up to keep their child. She had wept and raged at him, but he had not given in like he usually did, not on this. Her life was in danger and he couldn't have that. Bella might not see it now but it was for the best. It had been twenty four hours since the abortion, but Bella had not spoken one word to him since she had woken from the operation.<p>

Alice came up beside him and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. Her face showed her sadness and sympathy as she shared with him the vision she had just experienced. Edward's eyes closed again and his hands shook by his sides. "Is this for certain?" He whispered, his voice full of pain.

"Yes." Alice swallowed thickly and gazed toward the devastated girl who had been like a sister to her. "She will be gone by nightfall."

"How can I live without her?" Edward begged. "How?"

"You have us." Alice assured him.

"She could change her mind?" Edward held on to one last scrap of hope.

Alice sighed. "She hates you, Edward. In her eyes you betrayed her in the worst possible way. You took her child."

"I had to save her." He whispered. His face was tortured as he stared over at the only girl he would ever love. "I had to..."

* * *

><p>Charlie's face showed his relief when Bella turned up on his doorstep unexpectedly. He, Jake and his officers had been frantically searching for her ever since she had disappeared from the Black's house. Jacob had been devastated when he returned home to find Bella gone. Billy had no idea that she had even left. There was no note, nothing. It seemed like she had vanished into thin air. Jacob had run back out of the house and managed to track her scent toward the main road, there it just petered out. He hazarded a guess that she had been picked up. At first he thought it was a Cullen who had lured her out but then he recalled the conversation he'd had with Bella the night before where she had talked about going back to Jacksonville. She had left under her own steam. What Jacob couldn't figure out was why she had taken off again? He had promised her he'd look out for her. Why did she keep running away? Was it really because he had shown his father the bruises that the leech had inflicted on her? Jacob could only assume it was.<p>

This time Jacob couldn't leave Charlie out of the equation. If Bella was heading out on a plane he would need her father's help to track her down. He wouldn't be able to do so alone. Billy had tried to reason with his son, advising him that perhaps he should let Bella go. It was her choice. But he knew his words were falling on deaf ears. Jacob would never let her go, not if there was a chance. Billy knew his son was just like him. Once they loved someone, no one could ever take their place. No other woman had ever been able to take Sarah's spot in his heart. For better or worse, Jacob had chosen Bella and he would fight until his last breath to win her.

Charlie settled his daughter back into the house. Bella didn't even seem to find it odd that he was asking her no questions about why she had left her husband. She was still feeling emotionally drained from all that had happened to her. Charlie's fussing went over her head as he made her a simple meal and then left to make a call. She assumed he was calling work but he was actually on the phone to Jacob.

"She's here, son." He kept his voice low. "She turned up an hour ago."

"Is he with her?" Jacob asked curtly.

"No, she's alone. She hasn't spoken much. I didn't want to pressure her just like you said." Charlie replied. "But she isn't wearing her rings."

The tension left Jacob's body at these words. His grip on the phone loosened as he thanked Charlie for letting him know she was safe. "I'll come straight over."

"Perhaps you should let her settle in first." Charlie said doubtfully.

"No, she has been through a lot. I need to make sure she won't bolt again. Please...just please." It was the desperation in Jacob's voice that made Charlie cave in.

"Come on then. But not for too long. She looks done in and needs rest."

"Thanks. I'll be over in half an hour." Jacob sagged against the wall when the call ended. He saw his father shake his head sadly, but he ignored him. He knew what Billy thought about Bella and the selfish way she had been acting. He had heard it so may times from different people over the last few months. None of them really understood how he felt. Nobody understood her. Jacob knew there was something eating away at Bella. She had run for a reason. She was obviously feeling guilty over something. He just needed to find out what so they could fix it.

* * *

><p>"I know I owe you an explanation, dad." Bella pushed her plate away. She had hardly eaten anything. "But can we talk later? I'm feeling tired."<p>

Charlie seemed agitated. For some reason he kept glancing toward the front door. Bella frowned. She was missing something here. A horrible thought occurred to her. He hadn't contacted Edward had he? Her skin broke out into a cold sweat. No, she had made herself clear to Edward that she could never forgive him for his actions. She had thrown her rings at him and fled the mansion. She couldn't even find it within herself to say goodbye to the rest of the family. Edward hadn't put up a fight at the time. He seemed to know. His parting words had been. _"I had to save you."_ They had meant nothing to her. She had called a taxi and gone straight to Charlie's. There had been no where else she could go.

"Dad, is something wrong?" She asked him when he glanced at the door again.

"No, kiddo." A knock startled them both. Charlie was on his feet instantly. He answered the door and greeted the visitor hurriedly. "She's in there. I think she knows something is up. Tread carefully. You have five minutes." He gestured toward the living room and then went into the kitchen to get a beer.

Jacob took a deep breath and entered the living room. He heard Bella take in a sharp breath when she saw him. Her face whitened and her fingers dug into the soft cushions on the sofa. "Jake! How did you? I mean I..." She put her head in her hands and began to sob. "I'm sorry." Was all she could say. It came out muffled as she continued to cry. The tears spilled through her fingers.

Jacob hesitated in the doorway. He hadn't expected her to burst into tears. Perhaps she thought he had told Charlie about the bruises. But he hadn't divulged that part. He didn't want to break her confidence further than he had to, and he knew that Charlie would freak. All Jacob had wanted was to track Bella down. He should be angry at her. She had treated him appallingly, but by the state of her she knew this already. Anyway he was tired of holding onto his anger and resentment. It was tiring being so keyed up at every waking moment. He had what he wanted; Bella human, safe, and away from the bloodsuckers. Now he had time.

Bella continued to cry for a while until her sobs quietened down. She finally raised her tear stained face to look at him. "I'm sorry." She whispered again. "I didn't know what else to do. I couldn't hurt you anymore."

"I told you I would look after you." Jacob approached her cautiously and sat down beside her. "Why couldn't you trust me?"

"I couldn't trust me." Bella said faintly. There was no excuse she could give. It was pointless telling him anything now. Her baby was gone,_ gone_. Her hand flew to her flat stomach as fresh tears welled out of her eyes. She still couldn't understand how Edward could have done this. Bella had never thought about having children. Being with Edward, she knew it was an impossibility. Then against all probabilities she had fallen pregnant. Yes, the risks were very high but she had been prepared to take them. Edward had not. Now she would never get to hold that child in her arms, hear it speak it's first word, or watch it grow. A sudden longing to have a child surged within her breast and she gasped at the powerful feeling.

During all this introspection, Jacob had taken her hand and was rubbing the palm with his thumb. "Cullen wasn't right for you, Bells. He hurt you, he covered you in bruises. I know you don't see that now but you were right to get away from him. It wasn't meant to be. I told you once that I would be better for you than him. I don't have the money, but what I do have I'd give to you. I'll treat you right, look after you, be by your side. I'd give you everything that was in my power. Just ask me, and if I can, I'll get it for you. I love you, Bells." He had bared his soul and it left him feeling vulnerable. She had already stomped on his heart once.

Bella stared at him in shock as tears continued to pour out of her eyes. He meant it, she could see it. What he was offering was immense. She had already taken so much from him, could she selfishly take more? Her lips quivered as she breathed out her dearest wish, borne from the heartache of having her child ripped from her. "I want a baby." She pleaded. "Can you give me a baby?"

_**A/N-thanks for reading! **_


	4. Chapter 4

**A Fateful Choice **

Disclaimer: all characters and copyright belong to Stephanie Meyer.

_**A/N-thank you for the awesome reviews. Nikki **_

**Part Four **

Jacob grinned at Bella. He reached out and stroked her cheek with the back of his hand. "I'll give you all the babies you want, honey." He said softly. "You know I love kids."

Bella grabbed both of his hands in her own, she had a manic light shining in her eyes as she looked at him. "I knew you would come through for me. Thank you."

Jacob was a bit puzzled by this overenthusiastic reaction. He felt as if he had read the situation wrong. He decided to be a bit more cautious. "When we're older, and have good jobs and hopefully a nice place to live, we can raise our family."

Bella's face fell. She dropped his hands and she withdrew from him. "When we're older?" She echoed him. "I see."

"Bells?" Jacob felt confused. "What's wrong? You can't mean you want a baby right now, surely?"

"I thought you wanted me." Bella turned the question back onto him. "I thought you understood me."

"Not right now I don't." Jacob watched her carefully. Her cheeks were flushed red with anger. He couldn't understand what he had done to rile her. Suddenly she twisted round and launched herself at him. Her mouth pressed hard on his and she sank her fingers into his hair, gripping the silky strands tightly as she kissed him. It reminded Jacob of their desperate kiss on the mountaintop. He could never resist Bella. He reciprocated at once. He pulled her onto his lap and wound his arms around her. The kiss became heated very quickly and he was so overcome by lust that he forgot momentarily that Charlie was only in the next room and could come in at any moment. Bella was pressing herself tightly against him, urging him onward, as if she was ready to get down and make babies right then and there. It was this brief thought that stopped Jacob and made him force himself to break the passionate embrace.

Bella was flushed and breathing heavily as she looked at him enquiringly. "Why did you stop?"

"Because Charlie could walk in any second, and this isn't like you." Jacob saw Bella frown. She climbed off of his lap and turned her head away from him.

"You don't want me." She muttered.

"Don't talk crap, Bells. You know I want you. But something is up here. You are acting odd. Talk to me." Jacob begged her.

"I think you made yourself pretty clear." Bella said stiffly. She stood up and began to walk out of the room. "I offered myself to you and you rejected me."

"I did not reject you." Jacob was getting exasperated. "I am trying to understand what is going on with you."

"Go home, Jake." Bella suddenly had tears in her eyes. She flew out of the room and ran up the stairs before he could stop her.

* * *

><p>"Then she just more or less stomped off in a hissy fit." Jacob gazed at his dad imploringly for help. Bella's behaviour had him completely puzzled.<p>

"I agree she is acting odd." Billy rubbed his chin thoughtfully. He tried to recall how Bella had been the day Jacob had brought her home after she first left Cullen. He had sensed that something wasn't quite right about the situation. Yes, she had bruises from her first fraught encounter with sex, but this didn't seem to be the primary reason she had left her new husband. Even when confronted with the evidence she had still defended the bloodsucker. No there was something more going on here, something that Billy felt he should be seeing, but, like Jacob, he couldn't put his finger on it.

"Dad?" Jacob prompted his father, hoping for some pearls of wisdom, but Billy had nothing to offer in that respect.

"I'm sorry Jake. I am as stumped as you are." Billy shrugged. "Some things you just can't explain. All I can suggest is you give Bella some space. Let her alone for a few days and see what happens."

Jacob didn't like this idea. He had only just got her back. He didn't like the thought of not seeing her. But then again, would she see him anyway? She had given him a pretty harsh brush off when he had only tried to be helpful and understanding. Maybe his dad was right, he should give Bella time to adjust to her new circumstances. He would keep an eye on her from afar and watch and wait.

* * *

><p>Three days later and Jacob came home from a long patrol shift to find Bella lying in his bed. She must have climbed through his window and sneaked inside. It was past midnight. She was huddled under his duvet, only the top of her head poking out. Jacob couldn't hide his relief that she had been the one to approach him. He knelt next to the bed and shook Bella a little to wake her. Bella opened her eyes and stared at him for a moment as if she didn't recognise him; then, as if a light had been switched on in her brain, she gave him a small smile and threw the covers off of her. Jacob gasped as he saw she was wearing next to nothing. There was so much creamy skin on display he had a hard time controlling himself. His reaction was obvious and Bella's smile became a little calculating as she took his hand and tugged him toward the bed.<p>

"Bella, what are you doing?" Jacob asked huskily as she began to pepper kisses all over his face.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" She whispered. "This is what you've dreamed about isn't it?" She kissed him long and slow on the mouth, making him groan. His hands gripped her waist as he pulled her completely on top of him.

Like before, Jacob gave in to her, his hand tangled in her hair as he kissed her deeply. She became pliant in his arms, allowing him to run his hand down her back, his fingers feeling every ridge along her spine, as she rubbed her body against his. Jacob was so overcome by his body's reaction to Bella that there was no stopping him this time. He just let himself go along with what she wanted. She was right, he had dreamed of this scenario countless times, and reliving his fantasy in reality was better then he could have imagined. Things would have progressed further if they hadn't been interrupted by Billy knocking on the door.

"Jake, you home now?" He called through the closed door.

Jacob and Bella froze. She looked at him in horror before scrambling off of his bed and burying herself back under his duvet. "Stay there, dad." Jacob replied quickly. His voice was hoarse and he didn't sound like himself.

"Jake? You alright?" Billy questioned him.

"Yeah. Go on to bed, dad. I'm tired. I'm sleeping now." Jacob prayed in his head for Billy to give up and retire for the night.

"But you always have something to eat before you crash whatever time of the night it is. You sure you're feeling okay? You aren't still worried about the Bella situation, are you?" There was a muffled noise as Bella pulled her head from under the duvet and glared at a mortified Jacob. "I know it's odd she's demanding babies, but I was discussing it with Sue Clearwater, she thinks it might be some reaction to what she went through on her honeymoon night. Go slow with her, Jake. Keep your hands to yourself even if she tries it on again. She is emotionally fragile right now. Well goodnight then." Jacob could hear his dad's chair squeak a little as it rolled back down the hall to his bedroom.

"Bells, I swear I never... " Jacob held up his hands as Bella continued to glare at him. Her face was completely white, apart from a couple of red spots on her cheeks. She was yanking on her clothes and covering up all that creamy skin he'd had his hands on only a few moments ago.

"Don't bother, Jacob." Bella snapped. "Thanks for completely humiliating me. Who else have you told? Quil, Embry? No, knowing you, you've probably broadcast my personal issues to the whole pack. I'll have saint Emily on my doorstep soon offering her unwanted advice. Or will it be Leah Clearwater telling me how to get down and dirty with a wolf. You...you...you...idiot."

Jacob leapt up from the bed and tried to placate her. "For goodness sake, Bells. What do you expect? I have no idea what you're doing. One minute you're crying then you're angry. Then you ask to make babies. I say we should wait, so you ignore me, then you try to seduce me. So excuse me for having no idea what is fucking going on?"

Bella's whole body trembled from head to toe as tears pooled in her eyes. "I thought I could trust you. You were the only one I could say that I could completely count on. But you've really let me down. You say you want to give me everything. That you'll be there for me. I ask one thing of you, not only do you say no, but you then tattle about it to your dad. Well thanks for nothing, Jake. Just stay away from me in future. I don't need you to get what I want." She whispered at him fiercely.

Her words brought Jacob up short. He replayed them over in his head, especially the last biting sentence._ 'I don't need you to get what I want.' _"Have you just been using me? Is that it? Was I just a means to an end?"

Bella's face turned paler as she avoided his eyes. "I need to go." She shoved his window open and climbed clumsily outside. Jacob watched her go silently. He didn't try to stop her.

* * *

><p>Bella stewed for days. Jacob didn't contact her and she didn't contact him. The more time went by the more angry she became. She failed to look at herself and examine the reasons why she was acting so irrationally. The fact that she had been coerced into going through with an unwanted abortion, coupled with the fact that she had broken up with her new husband, and her emotions were all over the place. One moment she was cursing and crying over Edward, then she was sobbing over the loss of the child she would never get to see. She irrationally blamed Jacob for letting her down, when all he had done was try to help, even though he had no idea what was at the root cause of her behaviour. Her emotions see-sawed between anger and despair. She was physically and emotionally a wreck, and with a father who was clueless on how to help her, Bella began to sink. Her longing for a baby to replace the one she had lost increased, and on the third day she decided that if Jacob wouldn't help her out, she would find someone who would.<p>

That night, while Charlie was on a night shift, Bella dolled herself up, putting on unaccustomed make up, and a short black dress. She was going to head into Port Angeles and hit the clubs. She was so fired up with her insane plan that she never thought through the consequences. She called a taxi and headed out into the night.

_**A/N-thanks for reading! **_


	5. Chapter 5

**A Fateful Choice **

Disclaimer: all characters and copyright belong to Stephanie Meyer.

_**A/N-thank you very much for the awesome reviews. Nikki**_

**Part Five**

Bella passed the taxi driver his fare and then climbed out onto the side walk. The streets were fairly empty as the evening drew in, apart from a few crowds of young teenagers and men and women in their twenties, who were heading to the clubs just like she was. Bella pulled her thin jacket around her slim shoulders to ward off the cold and walked slowly over to club's entrance. She could hear the loud music pumping through the half open doors, which increased in volume each time someone went in or out of the double doors. Bella crept closer, each step she took toward her destination made her feel uneasy. Doubt crept into her tired mind as she hesitated. She caught a reflection of herself in the blackened windows of the club and drew in a sharp breath. Bella didn't recognise the thin, frightened looking girl with the haunted eyes who was staring back at her. The image frightened her so much that she turned away from the club and fled over the road toward the friendly lights of the local fast food joint. She slipped inside and ordered black coffee, and then sat near the back, her trembling hands cradling the Styrofoam cup.

It took her a few moments to calm down as the full import of what she had planned to do sank in. Had she had really been going to pick up a total stranger so she could get pregnant? The thought horrified her. Seeing how low she had sunk made the ever present tears well in her eyes. She needed help, she could admit that to herself now. The loss of her baby was clouding her judgement and making her act recklessly. Had she really learned nothing from her past depression? It seemed not. Bella's one biggest regret had not been seeking professional help when Edward had first abandoned her. Instead she had allowed herself to rely on a teenage boy to hold her together. Jake had done his best to fix her, but in reality it was only a patch up job. When Edward came back into her life she had still been very vulnerable. She had allowed herself to regress, holding onto Edward tightly, thinking that he was the reason she needed to breathe. But he wasn't. He had forced her to abort a baby, a living being. It showed her the extent of his control and disrespect for her personal feelings. It was all about him and the Cullen's. She was expected to toe the line like the rest of the family. Having her child ripped away from her had been a huge wake up call and an unpleasant look into her future if she stayed with them. So she had wrenched herself away from her drug and spiralled out of control like she had the first time. Bella equated herself with an addict going through a withdrawal. No wonder she was going off the rails. She couldn't do it alone. She could see it now.

Bella finished up her coffee and pulled out her cell phone. She pleaded in her head that it would be Jake and not Billy who answered. It seemed that for once her prayers were answered.

"Hello." Jacob sounded weary and Bella guessed she had woken him up from much needed sleep.

"I'm sorry, Jake." She whispered.

"Bells?" Jacob's voice rose a little when he realised it was her.

"Jake. I know I keep taking, but I need you to come and get me, please?"

"Where are you?"

"Port Angeles."

Jake was silent for a moment. "Were you heading back to him?" He asked eventually.

"No. I was going to do something crazy but I managed to wake up in time. Can you come and get me? And this time I promise I will tell you everything. Please?" She pleaded.

"You don't need to beg." Jacob sighed a little. "I'll be there in a couple of hours. Where exactly are you?"

"In the main high street sitting in a fast food restaurant."

"Good, stay there and don't leave. I'm on my way." Jacob promised.

"Thank you." Bella whispered as she ended the call.

* * *

><p>Jacob had to hunt around until he found a car he could borrow. Embry's mom allowed him to use her old battered Camaro. He thanked her and left to pick up Bella. On the long drive there it gave him time to ponder about what she had to tell him. He already knew about her bruises. What else could Cullen have done to her? Thinking about all the possibilities was making him angry, and he needed to remain calm. It was no good making up scenarios in his head which were probably not even true. He needed to keep a cool head when he saw Bella. There was obviously something troubling her and the last thing she would need was him kicking off. Jacob had wished he hadn't taken her last words so much to heart. But that was all too late now.<p>

The journey seemed endless but finally he reached Port Angeles and managed to park the car outside the fast food joint. He saw Bella hunched over one of the tables. She was sitting near the window, occasionally glancing out toward the darkened street, obviously keeping a look out for him. Jacob saw the red highlights in her hair glint under the bright overhead lights of the restaurant. She was biting down on her bottom lip; an old habit when she was stressed or overly anxious. He noticed her foot tapping on the floor restlessly. Bella was very keyed up and it made Jacob dread even more what she had to tell him or why she was here in Port Angeles at all. He took a deep breath and went inside.

Bella's face lit up when she saw him. She waved at him and Jacob went over to join her. He slid into the seat opposite. He got his first opportunity to look at her more clearly. Bella was wearing heavy make up. In his living memory, apart from her wedding day, he had never known her to paint her face like that. Some of the heavy mascara had run where she had been crying, the streaks ran down one side of her face. It was her clothes that really caught his attention. Bella was wearing a short black dress, her legs were on show and the dress was only covered with a thin jacket. Jacob was having trouble taking his eyes off of her long legs.

Bella noticed him staring and tried to yank the short dress further down her body but there wasn't enough material. She blushed profusely. "Jake..." She mumbled.

"Sorry." Jacob finally realised what he was doing. He forced his eyes back onto her face.

"Thanks for coming." Bella tried to smile but it looked fake.

"What are you doing here, Bells?" Jacob didn't bother to mince his words.

Bella ducked her head to hide her expression from him. "I don't know where to start..." Her voice tailed off as more traitorous tears rolled down her face. Her mascara blackened further.

Jacob watched her for a moment before getting up again. This made her meet his eyes enquiringly. "I'm getting us both something to eat." He said by way of explanation. "Then I want you to tell me what the hell is going on."

Bella swallowed thickly as she watched him walk away. She noticed the other patrons staring at Jacob. He was an imposing figure and obviously very handsome. She sank back in her chair and tried to smooth her hair back from her face. How the hell was she supposed to explain herself without hurting him further? There was no way. She owed him the truth. Look where lying had gotten her already? All she could hope was that Jacob still cared enough about her not to turn away.

* * *

><p>They ate in silence for a few moments. Jacob finished his first. He took a huge gulp of his cola and sat back eyeing Bella warily. "So talk." He said bluntly.<p>

Bella flinched a little as she chewed slowly on one of her fries. "I don't want you to hate me." She whispered sadly.

"Jeez, Bells. Stop with the martyr act. I'm tired of it. Just tell me what is going on in that head of yours." Jacob complained in exasperation.

Bella closed her eyes momentarily as she pushed her plate away. She had suddenly lost her appetite. She fidgeted with her paper napkin and began to tear little bits of it apart as she began to speak. "Something unexpected happened on my honeymoon."

"Apart from being beaten?" Jacob asked sardonically.

Bella flinched again and hung her head. Jacob sighed and reached out to her, holding her chilled hand in his warm one. "I'm sorry, that was uncalled for. Please continue."

Bella gripped his hand tightly; afraid if she let go he might run away after he heard the rest. She couldn't look at him and evaded his attempts to see into her eyes. "I became pregnant, Jake." She continued softly. "Against all odds I was carrying Edward's baby. When I called you to come and collect me from the airport, I was still carrying his child..."

* * *

><p>Jacob breathed in the cool air as he shoved open the door to the restaurant and put his hands in his hair, gripping the silky strands tightly. Bella's words whirled round and round in his head. She had been impregnated by the leech, who had then forced her to undergo an abortion. Bella hadn't left her new husband because of any desire to see him or remain human. It had been because Cullen wanted to take away the demon she was carrying inside her. Jacob had never felt so sick in his life. He had listened in horrified silence as she choked out her tale of loss and sorrow. She had cried throughout, begging for his understanding and forgiveness. Could he do that? Forgive her for lying to him about such an important issue? And what had she been thinking running away to him when she was still carrying the leech's child? By her description of how the pregnancy would have progressed, the thing would have been fully grown within a few weeks and would have eaten it's way out of her body, ending in her death. Jacob could understand Cullen's reason for wanting to take the thing out of his wife, although he had gone the wrong way about it. He should have talked to Bella properly, instead of forcing her to bend to his will.<p>

He heard the sound of the door opening behind him and Bella's light footsteps as she came outside into the cold. She dared to touch his shoulder but he shrugged her off. Jacob walked away from her a little. He felt sick and a little out of control. "That's why you wanted me to give you a baby? To replace the demon you had inside you."

"Please don't call him that?" Bella wept silent tears. "He was my baby. He wasn't some sort of demon. He was a baby."

"He?" Jacob laughed bitterly. "You don't even know what sex it was."

"I know it was a boy. I had a feeling." Bella's hand flew to her empty belly. "I felt him move. Do you have any idea what that feels like? To feel the life inside of you and then, against your will, have that life taken from you?"

Her heartfelt words sobered him. Jacob turned to look at her. Bella seemed completely broken and beaten down. She was too thin and the heavy make up only accentuated the torture shining in her eyes. She was grieving. To her, yes, the thing growing inside her body had been a baby. Jacob knew he would never be able to think of it that way, but he had to understand that she did. It hurt, it hurt like hell that she had used him yet again. But she was Bella, she was his Bella, and he could never turn away from her completely.

"I would have given you a family. I would have given you a happy, healthy life full of love." He saw fresh tears well in her eyes.

"I know you would. You would have done all of that for me with all your heart. Then you would have left." Bella's lips trembled.

"What?" Jacob felt like she had stabbed him in the heart.

"Through no fault of your own you would have left me and whatever children we had together. You will imprint one day, Jake. You will lock eyes with your soul mate and bam I will cease to matter to you. I had to keep you as a friend, only a friend." Bella put her hands over her heart. "You must see that? You must have known that influenced all my decisions. That day on the beach when you told me about imprinting was the day I knew that we never belonged together. You see?"

"I don't fucking see." Jacob yelled at her. "You had already chosen the leech before I even told you about imprinting."

"I can't keep explaining myself anymore." Bella screamed at him. "I can't. Edward was my first love. He was like my drug. When he cut me off he left me to deal with the withdrawal on my own. Then there was you. I leaned on you and you became my crutch. You vowed to fix me up but you only managed to paper over the cracks. I was still weak when Edward came back into my life. My drug had returned and I was going to hold onto it with everything I had. I wasn't going to feel numb and out of control again." She took in deep breaths. Her eyes were wild as she unloaded everything she had kept hidden inside for so long. "I was wavering. I wasn't completely sure. You were still fighting and making an impact then all your hard work unravelled when you admitted to me that I was going to lose you anyway. That it was out of your hands as well as my own. I had been left once. Do you really think I would risk that again?"

Neither Jacob or Bella noticed the people staring at them as they passed by. They were totally focused on each other. Jacob was hearing things he had never been privy too until now. Bella had never put her relationship with both him and Cullen in such bold terms before. It highlighted a lot of her odd behaviour before and after the newborn battle. Imprinting! Once again the curse of the wolves, as Jacob and the non-imprinted members of the pack called it, had come to bite him on the ass.

"I won't ever imprint." Jacob's voice was quieter now. He felt wetness on his cheeks. He hadn't realised he had been crying.

"I suspect Sam said the same and Jared. How about Quil? How was it for him when he looked into the eyes of a two year old and became bound to her for life? He will be a middle aged man and Clare will be tied to him when she turns sixteen. Where are their choices? They didn't have any, and neither will you." Bella rubbed her aching forehead. She hadn't meant to bring any of this up. It was hardly relevant to their current situation. But somehow it must have been festering within her, otherwise why would she have said it? She recalled the vision she had experienced on the mountaintop when she and Jake had shared their first real kiss. What a joke? Another way for fate to torture her with something she could never have. It was that vision that had sealed her final decision and pushed her permanently toward Edward.

"You can't hold imprinting against me, Bella." Jacob retorted, his voice was full of the anguish he felt inside.

"I know." Bella said sadly. "But it's there and we both can't change it." She rubbed her forehead again. "It's a moot point now. Can we please go home now?"

"This talk is not over." Jacob warned her as he opened the car door for her to climb in.

Bella sighed as she watched him run round to get in the driver's seat. "It is for me." She murmured.

_**A/N-thanks for reading! **_


	6. Chapter 6

**A Fateful Choice **

Disclaimer: all characters and copyright belong to Stephanie Meyer.

_**A/N-thank you for the awesome reviews. Nikki **_

**Part Six**

_Three months later;_

Bella stared up at her father's house. It looked different from when she had left three months earlier. The outside had been spruced up, new paint made the house look all shiny and new, the front door and windows had been replaced, and the front yard had been cleared up and was much neater than she remembered. Bella glanced to the side at Charlie. He switched off the engine to the cruiser and smiled at her ruefully.

"I thought as you were making such a big change in your life, it was time I let go of the past too. So I started with the house." He told her.

"Good on you, dad." Bella returned his smile. "It looks great."

Charlie's smile widened. Rehab had done his daughter the world of good. He wished he had insisted on it much earlier, before the man who was to become her husband, had come back into her life. Thankfully Cullen was now history. This time it was Bella who had decided she needed help. Charlie had been stunned at her request to go away to a treatment facility. He thought she could have gone to a day release centre, but Bella had insisted that she go further afield. At the time he had been saddened that she wanted to go so far away, he could tell how upset Jacob was about it too. But Bella had been determined. She had packed her stuff up that very night and headed off to Jacksonville. There was a good rehab programme not far from where her mother, Renee, now lived.

Bella now had a light tan and her skin was glowing. The tight and anxious look in her eyes was gone and she seemed much more comfortable in her own skin. She had spoken and teased him a little on the journey home from the airport, something she had never done before. They both got out of the cruiser and went inside the house. This was where Bella got her second surprise. It wasn't just the outside her father had changed. The kitchen had been ripped out and a new one had been fitted. The white cabinets made the room seem much bigger.

"I've changed the upstairs too." Charlie grinned at her stunned expression. "Go see your room."

Bella was intrigued. She raised her eyebrows and ran up the stairs and opened the door to her old room. Cream walls greeted her. The old dark green had been painted over. Her feet sank into a thick beige carpet which covered the floor. Her old dark wardrobe and desk had been replaced with light oak equivalents. The only thing that remained the same was her old purple bedspread. Charlie laughed as he came up behind her.

"I thought you might want to choose your own bedding."

"This is...just wow. Thanks dad." Bella twisted round and gave him an involuntary hug.

This unusual display of affection stunned Charlie. It took him a moment to reciprocate. "You're welcome, kiddo." He said gruffly.

"This is going to be a new start for both of us." Bella stated firmly as she turned back to look around her room again.

"Out with the old and in with the new, huh?" Charlie ruffled her hair playfully, making her smile.

"I couldn't have put it better myself." She agreed.

* * *

><p>Bella didn't go to see Jacob straight away. She had asked Charlie to keep her return a secret. She wanted to spend a few days settling back in before confronting her past. In rehab she had learned to think through her actions before jumping straight in. Being away from Forks and her old life had given her a lot of time to think and sort through her jumbled emotions. Bella didn't want to make the same mistakes over and over. She had to face what had happened here head on and not let past guilt drag her back down. While she had been away she had been in contact with Edward. She had written him a long goodbye letter. It was not filled with bitterness or blame. It was both wistful and full of good memories. At the end she had told him she regretted nothing, but circumstances had torn them apart and she needed to move on. In closing she had asked for a divorce. Edward had responded at once. He had begged for her forgiveness and one last chance, but Bella had stood firm and by return of post had told him they would never be in contact again, other than about the divorce.<p>

A week after her return Bella finally decided to go and see Jacob. It was a bright morning when she drove to La Push. She had bought a car, not new, but it had low mileage and got her from A to B. She would need wheels when she started college in the fall. Bella glanced out at the view. She had forgotten how beautiful the scenery was around La Push. It was so open and vast. You could lose yourself in the landscape. The sun shone down on the green grass and wide plains. The sky was cloud free and made Bella feel unusually optimistic. It didn't take her long to reach Jacob's little redwood house. She parked up outside and climbed out of the car. She shielded her eyes from the sun as she peered over at the house. As if she had stepped back into the past, she saw Jacob poke his head out of the garage, a sunny grin lighting up his face when he saw her standing there. He sprinted over to her and swept her up in his strong arms, swinging her round and round.

Bella laughed breathlessly when he finally released her and stepped back a little so he could get a good look at her. She was certain he had grown taller since she had last seen him. He had also grown his hair out a little, the ends now reached his shoulders. Other than that he seemed the same. She wondered what he was thinking when he didn't say anything after their initial greeting.

"So?" She prompted him. "How have you been?"

"Shouldn't you be telling me that?" Jacob turned the question back on her.

Bella gathered her long hair in her hands and began to braid her it absently. "Good. Very good actually."

"You look well. You actually have some meat on your bones." Jacob reached out and pinched her arm playfully.

"Hey." Bella batted his hand away. "They insisted on three square meals a day."

"And you have a tan." Jacob smiled at her before his expression became serious. "You could have answered my letters. I wrote every day."

"I know. I read them all I promise, but part of my treatment was to keep my past where it should be while I was trying to heal." Bella recited the treatment programme's mantra verbatim.

"I'm your friend, Bella." Jacob snapped suddenly. "Sounds like a load of crap to me."

Bella flushed. Part of her had the urge to just run and storm off in a huff. But that was the old way she used to deal with things. The new Bella was supposed to stay and face things. She took a deep breath and looked Jacob directly in the eyes. "I know you found it upsetting. I thought my dad explained why I couldn't write."

"Didn't make sense to me." Jacob said bitterly.

"Maybe not. But it was part of the programme and I needed to stick to it." Bella tried to explain but from Jacob's mutinous expression he was not convinced. Instead she tried to distract him. "So how have you been?"

Jacob narrowed his eyes for a second. He knew what she was doing, but he let it go for now. "I've been working on a new car."

"That's great." Bella replied a little too enthusiastically. "I know you missed the Rabbit."

"This car isn't for me. I'm fixing it up so I can sell it to make money. Then with the profit I'll buy another old wreck, do that up and so on." Jacob began to walk toward the garage.

Bella followed after him. "That's great." She said again.

"Oh yes, it's great. That's your new buzzword is it?" Jacob muttered sarcastically.

Bella stopped walking and stared after him in confusion. What was wrong with him? She had been only trying to make polite conversation but he insisted on being an ass. "What is wrong with you?" She asked him in frustration.

Jacob turned round to face her. His dark eyes were filled with anger as he glared down at her from his great height. Bella was taken aback. "Let me see? Well for one you fucked off as soon as I brought you home from Port Angeles that night. You fled without a word to me after all that I had done. Then when I write to you I get no response, as far as I knew you had cut me off for good..."

"But..." Bella protested but he cut her off.

"And don't give me all that crap that Charlie explained. That was what you should have had the courtesy to do. But no, selfish Bella Swan did what she wanted and sod the rest of us. I can't cruise off to expensive rehab when life gets tough. No, I have to stay here and face things like the majority of the population have to. You have no idea what shit I have had to go through since you left. I cold have done with talking to my so called best friend. But I forgot our friendship only goes one way. Your way. You pick me up when you feel like and then use me. Then you piss off and dump me again so you can go find yourself." Jacob said heatedly.

"I needed to heal." Bella mumbled. She couldn't believe he was saying such things to her. He hadn't said any of this in his letters, had he? She tried to remember what he had written, but to her surprise she couldn't really recall one word. She had been so focused on her recovery she had blocked everything else out.

"Healed?" Jacob shook his head and laughed sardonically. "No, you may have eaten three square meals a day because you had to, but underneath this new Bella is still the same selfish one that has always been there."

His harsh words made her flinch. She stumbled away from him. Tears sprang into her eyes. She hadn't expected this after his initial greeting. He had seemed so pleased at first to see her. How had it all gone so wrong? She had obviously done and said something wrong to displease him, but she couldn't pinpoint what. Bella stared at him for a moment. He glared at her as she began to shrink away from him. All her hard work fell away as she began to get the urge to run, and run far. Her fists clenched at her sides as she began to back further away.

"I am sorry to have upset you, Jacob Black." She said formally as if they were mere acquaintances. "I will leave now." She turned away from him and began to hurry away.

Jacob watched her go for a moment before running after her. He caught her arm and forced her to turn to face him. "You haven't changed." He stated bluntly.

"But I have." Bella said lamely.

"You are still Bella." Jacob said again.

"I am different." Bella's brow furrowed. "I am."

"No, you are the same." Jacob's voice was calmer now. "I never wanted you to change. You were fine as you were. You just needed to believe in yourself a little. All this rubbish they've filled your head with in rehab is the same as the crap that Cullen used to feed you. Don't you see? You've been spending your whole life apologising for just being yourself, and why should you have to do that? You shouldn't have to change, not for me, for Cullen, for anyone."

"You just attacked me for being selfish?" Bella replied faintly.

"Yes, you are selfish and self absorbed at times. So am I."

"When?"

"Jeez, Bells. Is this a test? Plenty of times. I've been pursuing you for so long that I failed to see what it was you wanted. It was all about my feelings. I never gave you the space to think for yourself, I wanted you to choose me, when it was always down to you. I tried to selfishly force your hand as Cullen did. No wonder you were all over the place. I drove you to rehab just as much as losing that baby did." Jacob now sounded guilty. "I was on at you all the time, even on your wedding day."

"That's not right." Bella shook her head. "I never saw it that way."

"Well it was that way." Jacob shrugged. "I wanted to help you but underneath I was doing it for my own selfish reasons not out of the goodness of my heart."

"So I've basically just spent three months licking my own backside is that what you're saying?" Bella raised her eyebrows at him.

Jacob laughed at her statement. "Yeah, I wouldn't have put it like that though."

"Really?" Bella smiled at him weakly. They both became silent for a moment. "So." She continued eventually. "Are you going to show me this car you're fixing up, or what?"

Jacob returned her smile as he held out his hand. Bella took it at once. And just like that they morphed into Jake and Bells again.

_**A/N-thanks for reading! Thoughts please? **_


	7. Chapter 7

**A Fateful Choice**

Disclaimer: all characters and copyright belong to Stephanie Meyer.

_**A/N-thank you for the awesome reviews. Nikki :)**_

**Part Seven **

It was the sun shining in his eyes that woke Jacob up. He opened one eye lazily and smiled when he saw Bella lying naked in the bed beside him. Memories of the night before made his smile widen. She was still asleep and breathing deeply. Her cheeks were rosy. His duvet had been abandoned on the floor, there was no need for covers when sleeping with a werewolf. Jacob trailed his fingers along Bella's silky skin. He started at her shoulder and followed the incline of her body as it curved and dipped down toward her hips. His warm hand skimmed the outside of one breast and he saw her lips curve up into a small smile.

It had been eight weeks since Bella's return from rehab and both she and Jacob had spent every spare moment together. They had literally ignored everyone else around them and became caught up in their own little bubble. Jacob hardly saw the pack; only when he was forced to patrol the borders would he come across them. He was out of the house so much that Billy had begun to complain he couldn't recall what his son looked like. Charlie echoed similar sentiments to Bella. He had hoped once she returned they could reconnect with each other, but she was rarely at home. She was either working at her part time job in the diner or with Jacob.

At first Jacob and Bella had agreed a truce. There would be no talk of a relationship, love or anything. They would go back to the beginning and try to recapture their friendship. So Bella would come over of an evening and spend time with Jacob while he worked on the cars he was hoping to sell on for a profit. While she wasn't with him during the day she had hunted for a job; she needed to save for college. She quickly found one. The local diner offered her some shifts. It was an ideal job, not only was it on her doorstep, but she could work her shifts around Jacob's patrolling schedule.

Spending time watching Jacob work on the cars reminded Bella of the early days. She would hand him the tools he needed (usually the wrong ones) and chat to him while he hovered over the engine or lay underneath the car changing the oil. When he took a break they would share some warm sodas and order a pizza; Jacob was always hungry. They fell back in to their easy friendship. It was all so simple, too simple.

The weeks passed. They graduated from spending time in the garage to bike riding. Jacob still had both the motorbikes they had fixed up together all those months ago. Bella was stunned to still see them sitting at the back of the garage; a dusty tarpaulin covering them both. She had discovered them when she had been poking around the garage while Jacob was extra busy working on one of the cars. Seeing them had brought tears to her eyes. She had missed riding them. Jacob was surprised at how sentimental she became as she spoke about their joyriding days. He thought she had only really wanted to ride the bikes in the past because she wanted to be reckless and invoke the bloodsucker's voice. That was what she had confessed to him once. But now she told him that wasn't the whole truth. She had actually enjoyed racing with him along the dirt tracks. That's all he needed to hear. Jacob pulled the dusty tarpaulin off of the bikes, gave them a quick service and declared them good to go.

Bella had fallen off the first few times they had ridden them. But Jacob showed her how to roll away from the bike when it swerved and crashed. She became an expert at avoiding injury if she unexpectedly skidded or took her eyes off of the dirt track to check Jacob's progress. They had mini competitions, jeering at each other as they raced. Jacob inevitably won most of these impromptu races with ease, but occasionally he would be gracious and let Bella win.

On the fifth week Bella turned up at his house with a change of clothes and a determined look in her eyes. She wanted to cliff dive again. Jacob was a little ambivalent at first as his head filled with memories of the last time she had tried. But then she had done so alone and had been in the midst of her depression. Now she insisted that she wanted to try again and erase the bad memories of the past. She wanted to jump with him by her side. How could he say no? They had set off together. It was a fine day, if a little chilly. Bella had stripped down to just a t-shirt and some shorts. Jacob didn't need to undress, he was only wearing his cut off sweats. He took her hand and they stood side by side on the edge of the cliff and stared down at the grey sea crashing at the bottom.

"Ready?" Jacob had asked her.

Bella grinned at him suddenly and launched herself off of the edge. She tumbled head over feet and hit the water seconds before he did. Jacob had jumped straight after she had. They both swam to the surface, laughing and spitting out the salty water.

"You cheated." He yelled at her.

Bella had poked her tongue out at him mischievously. This had set them off into hysterics. Jacob had to help Bella back to shore because she was so breathless from laughing. That had been the prelude to where they were now. They had been on a high and crossed the line without thinking of the consequences. Jacob and Bella had never been so happy and all their good intentions had been thrown out of the window. He knew that all he needed was Bella and he could sense that she knew it too. It was this mindset that led to their downfall.

* * *

><p>Bella eventually woke up when she felt Jacob press his warm lips onto the back of her neck. She stretched like a cat and rolled over to face him. He grinned at her before kissing her hard on the mouth, his wandering hands slipping down to her pert butt and squeezing gently.<p>

"Morning beautiful." He said when the kiss was over.

Bella glanced down at herself. In the past she would normally feel embarrassed at being seen in broad daylight with nothing on, but being with Jacob was easy. He did indeed make her feel beautiful. She ran a hand down his broad chest, scraping his skin lightly with her fingernails. He liked that. She smiled as his eyes closed and he lay back allowing her to explore his body further with her lips and tongue.

"You know we can't be friends anymore, honey." He quipped.

Bella's head popped up from where she had been teasing his navel with her tongue. Her tangled hair fell about her shoulders in a fluffy cloud. "Huh? I thought we could still be friends but with added benefits."

Jacob put his hands behind his head as he raised his eyebrows. "Nah, I don't like that idea. You're stuck with me now sweetheart."

"Damn." Bella sighed dramatically and crawled back up his body. She hovered over him and laughed as he tried to kiss her and she dodged him.

"You are a tease." He complained.

"Really? Well you need to get used to abstinence Mr Black, when I go to college you will have weeks to miss me." Bella saw the grin fade from Jacob's face when she mentioned the dreaded C word. She sat back up and bit her lip. "Don't start." She muttered.

"Why do you have to go so fucking far, Bells?" Jacob rolled off of the bed and began to pull on his shorts. The good mood had been ruined.

"You knew I was going to New Hampshire. It was pre-arranged before I ever came back here." Bella was getting frustrated. She yanked on her own clothes.

"Things are going great. Why spoil it?" Jacob pleaded. "Transfer somewhere closer."

"No." Bella glared at him. "This is my life."

"And I am a part of it. Shouldn't my opinion matter?" Jacob demanded.

"You are a part of it for now." Bella snapped. "Until you imprint that is. I can't build my life around here and have nothing to fall back on."

Her words were like a metaphorical slap in the face. Jacob recoiled from her and sat back down on his bed. "I am not going to imprint. I told you that. I thought you understood."

Bella quietened down. She sat on the floor and crossed her legs in front of her. "You can't know that."

"Why sleep with me then?" Jacob retorted. "Why crawl into bed with me and make me think you had finally put your fears to rest?"

"We were having fun, Jake." Bella was stunned to see how much at cross purposes they had been. She had been going along with the flow. She assumed Jacob had too. She had misread the situation and he had too.

"This was just some sort of fling for you?" Jacob was incredulous. Could Bella Swan still be that clueless?

"Not a fling. I was just enjoying life in the moment. I don't want to plan too far ahead, Jake. In our circumstances it is impossible. You have to see that, surely? How can we build a future together when there is no way we can know if we can ever have one? I need to protect myself." Bella said simply.

"I won't hurt you." Jacob insisted.

"You don't know that." Bella got up and pulled on her coat. "I'm sorry Jacob. This was a bad idea. It really was. I take the blame. Perhaps I was foolish to think we could take each day as it comes. I didn't understand that you were still thinking that we had some kind of future together. It wasn't my intention to hurt you in any way."

"That's it?" Jacob leapt to his feet. His face was a mask of anger as he hovered above her. "You sleep with me and then want to walk away?"

"I explained how I felt." Bella replied in exasperation.

"What can I do? Tell me what to do and I'll do it. I'll look every girl in the eyes who lives on the res to prove to you that none of them are my imprint. I'll wear a blind fold while I'm out so I won't lock eyes with any female. I'll keep my eyes on you. I only ever see you anyway. Just don't walk away from me, from us. We're great together, you know we are." Jacob was getting desperate. He took her hands in a death grip and wouldn't let go.

"You can't ask me to live in fear every day, Jake. It will eventually crush us. I can't wake up every day with the worry that this might be the day that I lose you. I just can't. I am so sorry. I wish it was different and I could have faith but I can't take the risk. It's just too hard." Tears rolled down Bella's face as she spoke.

"Don't break my heart again, Bella." Jacob pleaded. "Just don't."

His words made Bella's heart hurt. She rested her forehead on their joined hands and sobbed harder. "I don't know what to do."

"Trust me." Jacob whispered. "Just trust in_ me._"

Bella raised her head and stared at him for a long time. Jacob held his breath as he waited for her answer.

_**A/N-thanks for reading! **_


	8. Chapter 8

**A Fateful Choice **

Disclaimer: all characters and copyright belong to Stephanie Meyer.

_**A/N-thank you for the awesome reviews. Nikki **_

**Part Eight **

Bella picked up her mail and began to stroll down the corridor towards the entrance to the college. She was so absorbed in reading a letter from her father that she was unaware that someone was coming up behind her. "Love letter?" The voice startled her causing her to drop the letters.

Bella ducked down and gathered them up in her hands as she glared at the person who had interrupted her. It was Pete Northam, the so called college stud, and just another annoying male who wouldn't leave her alone. Bella wasn't impressed by his expensive clothes and rock star good locks. To her he was just another fake; a try hard who hid behind his parents money. There were so many of his type here and she tried to avoid them like the plague. She knew she wouldn't be here herself if the Cullen's had not already paid her tuition and the deposit on the house she was renting. It had been Edward's parting gift to her. They were supposed to have attended the college together after the honeymoon before things went wrong. Because she stayed off campus most of the other students presumed she had money. They couldn't be more wrong. Pete was one of them.

He threw an arm across her shoulders as she stood back up and winked at her. "You are a mystery Isabella Swan, and I love mysteries."

Bella shrugged his arm off and began to walk away from him. "I am very ordinary I assure you." She called over her shoulder.

Pete laughed and saluted her. "I'll catch up with you sometime, babe. You can't hide forever."

Bella gritted her teeth and hurried away and out into the open air. She breathed it in and the freshness soothed her frazzled nerves. She was enjoying college. New Hampshire was an exciting place, very different from Forks and the other places she had lived. The tall trees with leaves of varying colours now that it was fall were beautiful, and the cool breeze lifted the hair from her neck. Bella decided to finish reading her letters under the shade of one of the trees. She walked slowly over to her favourite spot in the extensive grounds and sat with her back against the bark of the tree.

She was just reading the last few lines of the letter from Charlie when she was interrupted for a second time. A shadow fell across her and a pair of heavy work boots came into her line of vision. Bella frowned and glanced up; ready to tell the interloper to take a hike. The words never left her lips. Instead the intruder hunkered down in front of her and grinned.

"Hey, Bells. Long time no see."

"Jacob?" She breathed, her eyes widening in surprise.

* * *

><p>"What are you doing here?" Bella couldn't believe it. She kept staring at him as he sat down beside her and put his long legs out in front of him, crossing them at the ankle. His hair was longer now, brushing his shoulders, and she could swear he was a little taller and more muscular then ever. It had been nearly two months since she had seen him last when he had begged her to stay. "How did you get here? I don't understand."<p>

"As for how I got here. I drove. Took me a while but the time alone did me good." Jacob picked at the blades of grass beside him and twirled them with his fingers.

"But when I saw you last...I thought..." Bella stammered, unable to fathom that he had just turned up. Their last parting had been very bitter and full of hurtful words. She hadn't expected to see him again.

"I know what you thought." Jacob dropped the blades of grass and rubbed his hands together. "But I missed you and decided to take a road trip."

"Missed me?" Bella echoed him. Her brow furrowed further. He was hiding something she could tell. "What is really going on, Jake? The last time we spoke you told me that if I left that was it, that you never wanted to see me again. So why the turn around?"

Jacob's eyes darkened. "Rachel came home from college." He muttered.

"And?" Bella felt puzzled. "Isn't that a good thing?"

"She imprinted with Paul Lahote." Jacob stated bluntly.

Bella felt like the breath had been stolen from her body. Black spots appeared before her eyes as she began to hyperventilate. This was it. He had come to tell her he had imprinted too. She had been right all along to have left. Why couldn't he have just written her a letter instead of torturing her in person? Her hands screwed up the letters she had been holding and she felt bile rise in her throat. "I take it you did too. Congratulations."

Jacob laughed bitterly. "No, not me. But seeing Lahote with stars in his eyes and joining the ranks of the imprinted made me feel sick. I remembered what you said and I finally understood. I packed my bags that night and got the hell out of there." He hung his head and gripped the long strands of his hair with his fingers. "I haven't phased since."

Bella could suddenly breathe again. She could feel the bitterness mixed with despair coming off of him in waves. She stuffed her ruined letters in her bag and stood up. "Come on lets get out of here." She suggested.

Jacob glanced up at her, a hint of hope in his eyes. "You're not telling me to go?"

"No." Bella smiled at him weakly. "Come on my lecture doesn't start for another hour. Let's grab a coffee." She held out her hand to him. Jacob stood and took it gratefully. Bella nodded at him as she led the way out of campus.

* * *

><p>"I never really understood your fear until that moment." Jacob drank his coffee hot. It burned his throat but he hardly noticed. "I know why you had to run."<p>

"Impossible situations." Bella agreed as she sipped hers.

"I've missed you, Bells. It's been hell without you." Jacob reached across the small table in the coffee shop and took her hand.

"I've missed you." Bella confessed. "I had to go. I think if I had witnessed another imprinting it would have crushed me after all the promises you made. No one can control fate it seems."

"I'm not going back, Bells. I'm done. Rachel is at home now and can take her turn caring for dad. I want to focus on myself for once." Jacob finished his coffee and sat back. He had a determined glint in his eyes as he spoke.

"Are you sure about this?" Bella checked. "It would mean leaving the pack behind. Can you even do that?"

"I can do what I want. I have sacrificed enough. We don't need to patrol as often now that the Cullen's have left. There is nothing to draw other nomads to the area now that they have gone for good."

"Where will you go?" Bella asked curiously.

Jacob paused for a moment before giving her a sheepish smile. "Here. I wondered whether I could crash at yours for a while until I find some work."

Bella bit her bottom lip. Was this a good idea? Probably not. But she had missed him a lot and it would be good to have some company in the evenings when she was finished with her studies. It could get quite lonely on her own. But how was he going to get work? He had left school before graduating. She pointed this out to him. Jacob just shrugged. "I'll find some cash in hand work somewhere. I thought I could finish my education using one of those on-line programmes."

"You have it all worked out it seems." Bella drank more of her coffee which was getting cold.

"So, can I stay with you?" Jacob asked one last time.

"As long as you wash up after yourself. I don't want to find your dirty clothes on the floor." Bella finally gave in.

"Done." Jacob gave her one of his sunny smiles.

* * *

><p>They settled into an easy routine. Jacob was as good as his word. Somehow through word of mouth he found part time employment in a local garage. He was off the books and the owner paid him in cash. He was so impressed with Jacob's work that he offered to give him an apprenticeship after a few weeks. Jacob was ecstatic. This meant he could earn money, start a career and work on finishing his education at the same time. The smile on his face when he handed Bella his first official wage packet made her laugh. They went out and bought a takeaway and a sneaky bottle of wine. No one was going to ask Jacob for ID.<p>

Bella was studying hard. She was often up late at night staring at her books and writing furiously. Often Jake would find her slumped over her desk asleep. He would pick her up and put her to bed. Bella never stirred once. They skirted around their relationship. Often Bella would look up and find Jacob staring at her; he would turn away as if he had been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. Bella was no better. She found herself daydreaming about him when she should be focusing on her lectures. It was hard living with him every day and not lusting over his toned body when he walked around half naked most of the time. She didn't pull him up on it, after all she enjoyed the view. The platonic boundaries began to crumble again now they were in such close proximity to each other. La Push, Forks and imprinting seemed far away. Out of sight and out of mind became their new mantra, and after barely two months of living in the same house, they fell into bed together again.

It was well known around campus that quiet Bella Swan had a live in boyfriend. Jacob had already scared off Pete and her other admirers. One fierce glance in their direction and they all backed off. Their daily life was one of studying, work, eating, drinking and sex. Like before they locked themselves into their own little bubble. They made no friends, just kept themselves to themselves. They didn't want the intrusion of the outside world, but it intruded anyway. Nine months after Jacob came to live with Bella in New Hampshire, Billy fell ill and Jacob was forced to go home.

_**A/N-thanks for reading! **_


	9. Chapter 9

**A Fateful Choice **

Disclaimer: all characters and copyright belong to Stephanie Meyer.

_**A/N-thank you all for the kind reviews on this story. Nikki **_

**Part Nine**

Jacob sat by his dad's hospital bed. Billy had been asleep when he first arrived so he waited patiently until he woke up. Billy had been surprised when he opened his eyes and saw his son for the first time; tears sprung into his eyes and he cried a little. Jacob had never seen his father cry like this before. The last time he had seen wetness coat Billy's cheeks was when his mother died. It had embarrassed them both a little and Jacob looked away while Billy wiped his face with a paper napkin.

"I'm just an old fool." Billy mumbled as he blew his nose.

"No, you're not." Jacob patted his hand awkwardly. He was having a hard time processing just how much his dad seemed to have aged in the months he had been gone. Billy's long hair, which had been streaked with grey, was now turning white. The lines on his face had deepened and he seemed much more fragile.

"I know what you're thinking." Billy said as if he could read his son's mind.

"You do?" Jacob sighed and shifted in his chair. "What the hell happened here, dad? Have you not been taking your meds?"

"Oh, it's hard to keep on top of those things." Billy's cheeks turned red, a sure sign he had not been looking after himself properly. It seemed Rachel had been neglectful too. Jacob was extremely angry with his sister. Paul may be her whole world but she should have been keeping a closer eye on Billy. Jacob had been told that there was some damage to Billy's liver through drink, and his special diet had obviously been neglected.

"That is no excuse, dad." Jacob said in exasperation. "You know how important it is you keep up your insulin intake."

"Well you didn't seem bothered, running off to New Hampshire like you did." Billy said; his voice was full of bitterness.

"So I'm not allowed to have a life then? Haven't I given up enough already? I left you in Rachel's care." Jacob was angry at the insinuation. He had spent most of his life caring for his father. He was not going to be made to feel guilty for having a little time out.

"I didn't mean that." Billy muttered. "I'm just feeling sorry for myself. I missed you."

"And I missed you too. Of course I did." Jacob relented and reached across and gave his father a proper hug.

More tears spilled out of Billy's eyes as he hugged him back. "Please tell me you're coming home, Jake. I need you here. Please?" He begged.

Over his shoulder Jacob stared at the wall, his was heart heavy in his chest as he felt the chains wrapping around him again and keeping him tied to La Push.

* * *

><p>He met Bella on First Beach. She was standing barefoot in the sand, her arms wrapped around her middle as she stared out at the ocean. He came up beside her silently and copied her posture. There was a distance between them which he felt unable to close. He was going to lose her, he could sense it. She would go back to New Hampshire and carry on her new life, and he would be back here, alone and unhappy, as his dreams of a different future crumbled into dust.<p>

After a few moments of silence she turned to glance at him. "You won't be able to go back to new Hampshire, will you?"

Jacob shook his head. "No. My dad needs me here."

"I understand." Bella said faintly. Her hair whipped around her face in the wind as she stared back out at the ocean. "I guess that's it then."

Jacob shoved his hands in the pockets of his jeans. "Yes, that's it." He agreed sullenly.

"It will cost a lot to transfer, but I suppose the money I get back on the rent should cover most of it." Bella mused aloud.

Jacob's head shot up as he looked at her in surprise. Faint hope began to stir in his heart. "Are you saying what I think you're saying?" He asked cautiously.

Bella pulled her hair back from her face and tied it up into a loose ponytail. She gave him a wry smile as she answered his question. "Yes. I guessed you wouldn't be able to come back with me as soon as you got the call. We are in a relationship Jake, no matter how much we have been living in denial. Jeez, you share my bed every night." Her smile grew wider. "I can't kid myself that I haven't become committed to what is going on between us."

The chains that had wrapped themselves around Jacob fell away and he found he could breathe easier. Bella was finally acknowledging that she was in this relationship for the long haul. That she was finally giving them a chance. "Imprinting?" He hated bringing it up but he needed to be totally sure.

Bella's smile faded as she flinched slightly. "I have to have faith, don't I? I have to believe that what we have built together means something, right?"

Jacob wrapped his arms around her completely and pulled her against his heated chest. "Everything will work out, I know it. I love you so much, you know that." It had been a long time since he had said those three words to her. They had avoided the L word, as if it was another attempt at shielding themselves from future pain. But now everything was out in the open and the admission couldn't be taken back. Jacob found himself holding his breath again as he waited for her to say the words back to him. But she didn't...

* * *

><p>Jacob and Bella moved back to Washington State and La Push. Bella cohabited with Jacob in his childhood home while Rachel and Paul moved into a place of their own. Billy's health improved exponentially now that his son was taking care of him, and with Bella's cooking, his diet improved too. With a new regimented attack on his meds, he was made to take them at the same time every day, there was no chance for him to slip up and slide back into the melancholy state that he had previously.<p>

Charlie Swan was ecstatic to have his daughter back living nearby and in a relationship with the son of his best friend. He had often thought of Jacob as a surrogate son of his own and it had always been his secret wish that Jacob and Bella would pursue a proper relationship. It seemed that they had finally made things official. Charlie was also now dating Sue Clearwater, and there was talk that he may soon be proposing and moving onto the reservation himself.

Everyone was moving forward and settling down. Bella was now attending the local college and finishing off the bulk of her degree on-line. Jacob had graduated and taken out a small business loan. He rented a small run down garage and began to take on local work. News of his skills and honesty soon spread and eventually he was able to spruce up the premises and he hired Seth Clearwater on a part time basis to help him out with the extra work. Bella kept the books for him, and after a year he was able to pay off the majority of the loan from the profits he had made.

Life was going along great until once again they were hit with a curve ball. Bella got up one morning, she had been feeling tired of late, she couldn't seem to concentrate on her work, or keep food down. She made some coffee and happened to glance at the calender, it was then that she realised her period was ten days late. As soon as this thought crossed her mind she ran to the toilet and threw up. She sat on the cold tile floor and touched her aching head. She was pregnant, she could feel it. How had she not noticed the signs?

Bella did not say a word to Jacob or Billy. She waited until she was completely alone and then did a pregnancy test. In fact she did four. Each one showed the same result. She was definitely carrying a baby. She sat by herself in the kitchen and stared sightlessly in front of her as she tried to sort through her whirling emotions. The unexpected pregnancy had brought back all her old feelings about the child that had been taken from her. Guilt about the loss weighed heavily on her and it dulled her enthusiasm for the new baby she was carrying inside.

* * *

><p>When Jacob came home from a long day at work he found his dad waiting for him. Billy's face was pale as he held out a letter to his son. Jacob frowned as he took it; the writing was Bella's. He felt his heart beat painfully in his chest as he slowly read the contents...<p>

"_Jake,_

_I'm sorry. I need some time out. I will be in contact soon._

_Bella X"_

Jacob sat down at the table and put his head in his hands. He knew things had been going too well. He had allowed himself to settle into a false sense of security. It had been well over a year since they had moved back home, and in all that time Bella had shown no signs of regretting her decision. She had thrown herself into her uni studies and also helping him with his fledgling business. Only last night in bed she had enthused about how well life was going. She had cuddled up to him and smiled when he had chided her for not eating all her dinner. She had laughed and told him she was feeling a little queasy. There had been no sign at all that she was going to up and leave. Yes, she still hadn't said the three words he most wanted to hear in the world. He told Bella he loved her everyday. She would just smile and touch his cheek affectionately. It had bothered him a little that she didn't reciprocate verbally, but he was sure that she did love him. Why else had she stayed so long? He had felt certain of her feelings, until the short letter telling him she needed time out. What did that even mean? She hadn't even had the courtesy to leave a forwarding address or phone number. There was no way he could track her down.

Jacob felt his anger build up inside him. He tore the note up into a dozen pieces and kicked his chair away. Billy watched him warily. Jacob's limbs were shaking, he looked on the verge of shifting. He hadn't phased in nearly two years. The wolf had been quiet when he had been with Bella, but now it was raring to break free. Jacob stared at his dad for a moment before fleeing the house and heading for the trees.

Billy did not see his son again for three days...

* * *

><p>Bella felt the warm sun heat her skin as she stepped off the plane and headed out of the airports terminal. She picked up her luggage, walked outside and flagged a taxi. The driver stowed her bags away and kept up a steady stream of commentary about the local area and it's attractions. Bella hardly heard him. Her head was full of worry and fear. Her hand flew to her still flat stomach and she felt the ever present morning sickness creep up her throat. She was glad when she reached her destination. Bella paid the driver, and leaving her luggage on the side walk, she strolled up to the front of the one storey house and knocked. It took a moment before the door was opened.<p>

"Bella?"

"Mom." Bella whispered before she burst into tears.

_**A/N-thanks for reading! **_


	10. Chapter 10

**A Fateful Choice **

Disclaimer: all characters and copyright belong to Stephanie Meyer.

_**A/N-thank you for the awesome reviews. Nikki **_

**Part Ten **

"Do you love him, Bella?" Her mother's question made Bella open her eyes. She was sitting with Renee outside near the swimming pool, enjoying the warm sun. She glanced to the side at her mother who was looking at her curiously, waiting for an answer.

"It's not as simple as that." Bella dodged the question.

Renee pulled her sunglasses down and raised her eyebrows. "Oh yes it is as simple as that. You left your husband when you had only been married for barely a week, then you return to the young man whom you always insisted to me was just a friend. Why? It had to be because you love him."

Bella's hand flew to her abdomen. She stroked the skin softly. In her first pregnancy she had felt the baby move within a couple of days. It would take a lot longer than that for her to feel the same with this baby. "It's not just about love." She mumbled.

"Oh for goodness sake, baby girl." Renee said testily. "Yes it is. Now do you love him?"

Bella's fingers curled into fists as she stood up abruptly and began to pace. "Of course I love him. I love him more than anything or anyone in the whole world."

"Have you told him that?" Renee's voice was softer now.

"I can't." Bella cried out. "It's my last chance to protect myself."

"From what?"

"The day that he leaves me." Bella collapsed back onto her seat and began to cry.

Renee quickly knelt in front of her distressed daughter and cuddled her. "Hey, baby girl." She rubbed soothing circles on Bella's lower back. "Has he given you reason to think he will go? From what you've told me he sounds very loving and loyal. He followed you to New Hampshire for heaven's sake."

"I don't doubt that he loves me. But he could be taken from me because of things out of his control." Bella whispered.

"Bella." Renee took hold of her daughter's face and held it between her hands. "That could apply to everyone. No one knows what the future holds. You have to just trust and get on with your life otherwise you'll forever keep running and being alone and miserable."

Bella wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. "You're telling me to go back and tell him, aren't you?"

Renee nodded. "Yes. Go home and let him know that you love him and are carrying his child. The only person preventing you from being happy is you. Learn to live in the moment, baby girl. Otherwise you'll drive yourself mad with all the what ifs?" She kissed the side of Bella's face and sat back down on her own seat.

"I'll book a flight back for tomorrow." Bella gave Renee a wan smile as she closed her eyes again and let the warm sun soothe her frazzled nerves.

* * *

><p>Jacob locked himself away when he finally returned home. He wouldn't speak to his father about where he had been or what he had done. He refused contact with his pack brothers and neglected his business. Seth Clearwater did his best to cover for his absent boss, but was finding it hard to do all the work necessary alone. Jacob would lose customers if he didn't come back in. On the fifth day Billy knocked on Jacob's door, as per usual he got no response. So he took a deep breath and barged in. The room was dark as the curtains were drawn. All Billy could see was his son's outline as he lay on his side on the bed. His eyes were open but he seemed unaware that his father had entered the room. Billy rolled his chair over to the window and yanked the curtains open, flooding the room with light. Jacob groaned and threw an arm across his eyes as the sunlight blinded him.<p>

"What the fuck are you doing?" He growled.

"Get up." Billy poked him.

"Get off." Jacob rolled away to face the wall.

"You are like a petulant child." Billy yelled at him finally losing his temper. "What would Bella say when she comes back to find you hiding away in your room like a spoilt baby?"

"DO NOT MENTION HER NAME!" Jacob snapped. "SHE IS NOT COMING BACK."

"Grow up." Billy ignored the ferocity of his son's anger. "You can't be sure of that. Instead of wallowing have you even given thought to why she needed a break?"

Jacob sat up abruptly and ran a hand through his hair. His eyes were alight with anger as he glared at his father. "I have done nothing but think. I just don't know."

"You can't do this, Jake. This isn't like you. You've always bounced back before." Billy pleaded. "Come out of this cave and have something to eat. Poor Seth has been on the phone. He needs help at the garage. He is swamped with work. If you are not careful you'll lose the business you've worked so hard to build."

"It means nothing now she's gone." Jacob swallowed thickly.

"She isn't gone, Jake. I'm sure of it. I know that she'll be back. Whatever is troubling her I'm sure she will resolve and come and talk to you." Billy tried to infuse certainty into his voice.

"Has Charlie heard from her?" Jacob asked instead.

"No." Billy admitted. "But that doesn't mean anything."

Jacob lay back down on his bed. "Close the door on your way out." He said tonelessly.

Billy gritted his teeth in frustration. He rolled his chair back out into the narrow hall and slammed the door behind him.

* * *

><p>The flight back home seemed to take an age. It gave Bella far too much time to fret about how Jacob would react. She should never have given into her urge to run. It was always what got her into trouble in the past. She had thought she had grown out of fleeing when she couldn't cope, but her immaturity when faced with problems, still forced her to resort to her old ways. Now she had made the situation much worse. He would hate her. The cold note she had left made her cringe. Bella knew she hadn't been thinking when she fled La Push. Finding out she was pregnant again had made her act irrationally. This whole situation was different then when she was carrying Edward's child. No one was going to force an abortion on her like before. But still she was ambivalent about the future. Even though she had convinced herself that imprinting didn't matter, in reality it had always been at the back of her mind. That was why she had held back from telling Jacob that she loved him. It was a sad attempt to protect herself against abandonment. She thought holding that last piece of herself away from him would ease the pain if he imprinted. Suddenly faced with carrying his child and the possibility that it could still happen had made that weak resolve crumble.<p>

It was no excuse Bella knew that. Renee had been right. No one ever knew what was around the corner. Look at people who had assumed that their relationship's were fine? They had been left because of an affair or because the partner got bored and wanted a new life. Couples were breaking up all the time, and they coped. At least Bella knew that Jacob loved her. She had to hold onto that and live in the moment. She spent so much time worrying and fretting that she had made herself unhappy. Finally when the plane touched down on the tarmac Bella could breathe easier. Only a couple more hours and she could see Jacob and apologise for everything.

* * *

><p>Billy was banging the pots and pans loudly in the kitchen when Jacob finally emerged from his room. He loped over to the table and sat down. "You've made your point dad. Can you stop making so much noise." He muttered.<p>

"At last you've risen out of your pit." Billy rolled his chair over to the table and slammed a plate down in front of his son. "Eat that then go shower. You stink."

Jacob shot him a glare before picking up his fork and shovelling in the food. He hadn't wanted to get up but his wolf craved fuel and gave him no choice.

Billy watched in satisfaction as his son cleared the plate then held it out for seconds. He gladly refilled it. Jacob may still be grouchy but at least he was up.

* * *

><p>The taxi dropped Bella off at the top of the dirt track leading to the little redwood house. She dumped her luggage and left it behind as she strode toward home. She was feeling nervous and unsure of herself. It took all of her willpower to force her legs forward and not turn around and flee again. When she reached the front door she let herself in with her own key and slipped inside. The smell of cooking wafted her way and she peered into the main living room to see Billy clearing up in the kitchen.<p>

"Hello." She called out shyly.

Billy stopped what he was doing and twisted his chair around. "Bella? Is that you?"

"It's me." Bella came further into the room and gave him a sheepish smile.

"Am I glad to see you." Billy came to greet her properly. Bella bent down and kissed his weathered cheek. He could see by the look on her face she was wondering where his son was. "He is in the shower washing up."

"How is he?" Bella asked worriedly.

"Pissed off, that's what he is." Jacob's angry voice startled them both. He moved so silently they hadn't been aware that he had come out of the shower.

Bella swallowed the lump in her throat as panic set in. Jacob was looking at her like something that had crawled out from under a rock. There was no happiness at her return, only anger and resentment at the way she had treated him. He was barely clothed. Shorts hung low on his hips, a towel was draped across his shoulders which was not doing it's job of catching the droplets of water dripping from his hair. "I'm sorry." She whispered.

"What again?" Jacob growled. "You love using that word but you never mean it, do you?"

"Jake?" Billy said warningly.

"Leave us." Jacob glared at his father.

Billy frowned. He gave Bella a sympathetic smile before rolling his chair down the narrow hallway to his room. Jacob waited until he head his father's door close before he spoke further. "Where's your luggage?"

"Outside, up the track a little." Bella stammered. She twisted her hands together agitatedly.

"Good, it'll save you hauling it back out when you leave." Jacob stared at her challengingly.

"Leave?" Bella echoed him. "I won't be leaving."

"You will." Jacob spat. "That's all you ever do."

"I won't be leaving." Bella said again. "I came here to tell you something."

Jacob sat down on the couch and began to use the towel to dry his hair a little. He didn't bother to look at her. "Tell me what?"

Bella forced her trembling hands apart as she approached him cautiously. She carefully knelt down in front of him and looked up into his curious eyes. "What are you doing?" He demanded. "Are you begging now?"

"I am not going to beg for anything. I'm kneeling here to ask you to marry me. I love you Jake and I...I want us to be married." Bella couldn't seem to stop stammering. She so wanted to appear confident but the way he was glaring at her made her feel uncomfortable.

"Why?" Jacob asked incredulously. "Why are you saying this now?"

"Because I'm pregnant and I love you." She watched his eyes widen as his face registered his shock. "You're going to be a dad, Jake. We're going to have a baby."

**A/N-thanks for reading! **


	11. Chapter 11

**A Fateful Choice**

Disclaimer: all characters and copyright belong to Stephanie Meyer.

**Part Eleven**

Jacob just stared at Bella for a long time. He seemed frozen, as if unable to comprehend what she was telling him. Bella's knees began to ache so she got up and sat next to him. "Are you ever going to speak, Jake? I'm getting anxious here."

"You are pregnant?" He finally said, drawing the words out extremely slowly.

"Yes."

"That's why you wanted time out?"

"Yes." Bella took his limp hands in her own and looked at him pleadingly. "I shouldn't have run, that was a huge mistake. I know you are sick of hearing this word from me, but I'm sorry. I freaked out. I went to mom's. She talked some sense into me and made me see what a fool I've been letting the worry of imprinting and what happened with my first pregnancy affect what we have together."

Jacob frowned. "You told your mom about imprinting?"

"No, just that I was scared of losing you. But she reminded me that lots of relationship's don't work out, and they don't have the burden of imprinting as an excuse. I have to believe that we will be fine. I do love you, I never told you before because I was trying to protect myself. I know it sounds stupid, but fear makes me do stupid things." Bella gripped his hands tighter. "Please, Jake. Forgive me?"

"Talk to me next time, Bells. Don't ever run again." Jacob tugged her over to him so she was sitting on his lap. He wound his arms around her and cuddled her close. "I love you, and I'm going to be a dad." The last words were said with a hint of both wonder and excitement.

"Yes. You Jacob Black are going to be an awesome dad." Bella burst into happy tears as she hugged him back tightly. The constraints that she had built up around her heart to shield herself from hurt and pain slowly began to crumble. They were not entirely gone, but it was a start.

* * *

><p>Two months later and Jacob and Bella were married quietly with just close family and the pack surrounding them. They had a small ceremony in the open air on First Beach. The bride wore a simple empire line dress, not white, but a lovely cream colour with silver beading around the bodice. The flowing dress hid the small bump that was already starting to form. Jacob wore a white shirt open at the neck and sleeves rolled up, and a pair of smart black trousers. The pack wore similar outfits. Only Leah stood out. She wore a vibrant red dress and outshone the bride and everyone else there. She got immense satisfaction from seeing Emily dart jealous glances at her and Sam unable to look away from the fiery red.<p>

Bella was glad the attention was taken away from her. They all retreated to a small reception hosted at the Black family home, and after everyone had left Jacob and Bella celebrated quietly on their own in a rented cabin belonging to Quil's family.

* * *

><p>Life was far from easy over the next few months. The newly weds had a lots on their plate. Jacob was forced to work longer hours than he anticipated to keep his business up and running. Bella was trying to finish working on her degree and keep up her part time job at the same time. But she became quite ill during the pregnancy. It was confirmed she was carrying twins; a shock to both of them. The financial pressure felt ever greater when they knew they would have two new mouths to feed, not only one. But despite this they remained strong and together. Bella had learned her lesson not to run. If she was having a wobble she would talk to Jacob or even Charlie and Billy if she didn't want to overburden her husband. The two older men had a fountain of good advice to give and she wondered why she had never asked her dad in particular for his opinion before.<p>

Seven months, two week and one day from when she found out she was pregnant Bella's waters broke. She was in the diner serving some customers when she felt the wetness trickle down her legs. She had been feeling pain, but put it down to Braxton Hicks. Now it seemed the babies were on their way. Bella found she was surprisingly calm as the owner of the diner went into hysterics and called an ambulance. The paramedics thought they had a crisis on their hands when they arrived but found a calm mother to be waiting patiently for them. A kind customer had loaned Bella their cell phone so she could call Jacob. He would meet her at the hospital.

Everything after that went excruciatingly slowly. Bella's aura of calm soon dissipated as the hours in labour dragged slowly by. She was being monitored carefully as the babies were going to be premature; an often occurrence with twins she was told. This did nothing to ease her panic. She groaned, held onto Jacob's hand and yelled obscenities at him and the medical staff as the pains in her abdomen became unbearable.

"Get them out of me." She screeched as she felt the overwhelming urge to bear down and push.

"Not yet." She was told over and over. It was too soon and she wasn't fully dilated.

Three, four, five hours passed by with no sign of the Black twins making an appearance. Bella was sweaty and tired. Her fingers had drawn blood from Jacob's palm where she had been digging in her nails. "Serves you right." She had raged at him.

Jacob had smiled at her indulgently before wiping her sweaty hair back from her forehead. Bella's usually ladylike demeanour disappeared as she snapped at everyone around her. She cussed at the doctor when he placed a cold hand on her swollen abdomen. "What are you a fucking vampire? Warm your hands up before you touch me."

The doctor had been so startled that he had backed away immediately, ordering one of the midwives to finish the hourly checks. Jacob had chuckled as Bella glared at the offended doctor. Finally, after seven hours in labour, the first twin was born. She scooted out faster than expected after all of the painful build up. She was cleaned, weighed and passed over to the new mother. "Took your time, Sarah Black." Bella whispered in exhaustion as she and Jacob peered at their new daughter. The little baby cried out in protest, her thin arms and legs moving rapidly. Her skin was a lighter shade than Jacob's and she had a slight fuzz of black hair crowning her head.

Ten minutes later the second twin was born. He was bigger than his sister and he had a loud wailing cry as he entered the world. He had the same skin tone as his sister but he also had a shock of black hair which stood up in fuzzy spikes. He too was cleaned up, weighed and then passed over to his delighted parents.

"Hello Liam Black." Bella said gently as she stroked his fuzzy hair.

Liam blinked at her rapidly and yawned. "Hell yeah he is definitely a Black." Jacob laughed.

Bella locked eyes with her husband and smiled. She felt a warm glow surge through her veins. All her past hurt, worry and fear melted away as she dropped her shield permanently and allowed the man she loved inside. "These were the children in my vision. I should have known." She said in awe to Jacob.

Jacob leaned down and kissed her softly. His hand curled around hers as he did so. "Did you feel it?" He whispered.

"I felt it, Jake. There is no need to worry anymore." Tears of exhaustion and joy rolled down Bella's face as she revelled in the heat of the imprint and the healing power of faith.

_**The End.**_

_**A/N-thank you all for following this story. I really appreciate it. Nikki :)**_


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